Happenings on the Front Porch

I was outside with my little sister and her best friend, Chad, who happens to be flamboyantly gay and not so bright. The following actually took place:

Chad: "Does the sphincter always go back to being tight?"
Me: "Unless there's something wrong, I would assume so."
Christina: "But couldn't it stretch out like the kegel muscles in a girl? KEgel? KAgel? How do you say it?"
Me: "I don't know."
Christina: "Well, anyway, couldn't you do exercises to tighten the sphincter like you can for the kegel muscles?"
Chad: "Sue Johansen says you can tighten those at red lights."
Me: "You can do it anywhere. You could do it right now."
Chad: *squats and stands. squats and stands.* Ugh. I'm doing it right now.
Me: Chad. You don't have kegel muscles.**
Chad: *gasp* I don't!? I thought I was doing it too!



** Editor's Note: Research for this post, namely making sure the author had spelled "kegel" correctly, has revealed that men can, in fact, do kegel exercises. However, one should not practice the squat and stand method demonstrated by Chad. For instructions on how to prevent urinary incontinence later in life, please see this website.