Law & Order a la Sin City

(I don't know whether you guys have seen Sin City, but it cracks me up that all of the men have the same voice in that movie. So, this post is to be read in the Sin City voice. Imagine Bruce Willis's voice, only think that he has laryngitis and is intentionally whispering on top of it. Then, think about that deep, gravelly quality that voices only acquire after twenty years of chain smoking. Finally, imagine you're hearing it through a cell phone with no bars of reception. Can you hear it? Good. Now read on.)

I saw the broad walk into the room. I knew she was going to be trouble. She sat down and started talking. The questions were simple enough. She was a cop. She had been there after the little girl was taken from her home. And she wanted to find the sick fuck who would steal a child just as much as I did.

But she went too far. She framed my client. And I had to do something about it. I got out of my chair, walked to the center of the room, and started asking my own questions. The words were flying from my mouth. I hardly knew what I was doing. Sometimes I get a little crazy like that. I didn't have my pills. A girl needs her pills.

Before I knew it, I had my gun in hand, and I was firing like crazy. "You didn't question anyone else, did you?!" *Bang!* "And you only found my defendant's fingerprints in one place, isn't that correct!?" *Bang!* By the end of the cross examination there was just a mound of bloody flesh on the witness stand. That broad had it coming. She was lucky I left my automatic in the car.

I wiped the blood from my hands on the judge's robe. Then I walked out into the night. I needed to find the man who had kidnapped that little girl. I had to find him. So I could castrate him. Twice. Then make his head ooze orange liquid everywhere.




As you can tell, I think Sin City is one of the funniest movies I've seen in the past several years. Seriously. Who gets castrated twice? That's not even physically possible. And how does someone turn radioactive orange from a surgery or two? Come on now.

The moral of the story? Our mock trial scrimmage went well last night. I had forgotten how much fun cross examination can be.