"Have fun... Or at least don't be miserable."

How's that for instructions? Ever think about what we tell one another? It's standard to tell people in the service industry to "have a good day." But do we mean it? Wouldn't we rather say something like, "You keep doing your job. And try not to be so fucking slow and incompetent next time." What about when people leave for class? Why do we tell them to "have fun"? Shouldn't we be sending them off with words of encouragement like, "Go forth and learn, ye faithful student." But no. Class must be entertaining, otherwise we zone out. So perhaps telling someone to have fun is more appropriate (if we want to embrace reality in all its ugliness, that is).

A professor once told my critical thinking class of an essay all about the way we answer the question "How are you?" There are standard responses: fine, good, okay. However, it is fairly close to socially unacceptable to respond with anything else. If someone really wanted to know how you were, would they not be prepared for a twenty minute recitation of all the goings on?:

"My toes have been getting stiff with the changing weather, which meant while on a walk the other day, my dog got away from me and ran off and ate birdseed, which made a total mess of the carpet, and when I cleaned it up my knees got sore from being down on the floor, so then I had to stay in and get some rest, which was kind of frustrating until I found a really great Lifetime movie to watch, which reminded me of the time Ella cheated on Dale and they had the huge fight with the rifles and the police came out and during the make-up sex Dale ended up breaking his penis and got all sorts of pissed when he had to go to the hospital for surgery and all that, and anyway, I'm off track--I've been alright with the exception of the disaster my family has created in my home; I've never seen such a wreck, and I can't keep it cleaned up for ten minutes before they start in again, and then they expect me to make dinner and clean that up too; well I tell you what, I'm thinking about going on strike, and there won't be a damn thing they do to stop me. *Breathe* How have you been?"

Well, the essay is one such recitation. I want to say Mark Twain wrote it, but a quick internet search has yielded no such confirmation. Nor can I find the essay at all for that matter. Perhaps some day soon I'll dig out my old notebook and figure it out.

Until then, you all go have fun, have a good night, get some rest, and be happy.