Graham Crackery Goodness

I was feeling overwhelmed, sitting at my desk looking at words that my brain refused to comprehend, when in came my roommate. Jenny was in a mood--a quirky good mood, that is. And she had Teddy Grahams--dangerous, dangerous chocolate chip Teddy Grahams.

The first Teddy Graham made its way across my desk, informing me, "I am Productivity Bear. Eat me and you will be productive." As I laughed, Productivity Bear was shoved into my mouth by one highly amused Jenny.

Then came another. "I am Laziness Bear. Do not eat me or you'll be lazy." So then Jenny shoved the bear into my mouth only to scold me, "Allison, don't eat that! What are you doing? You don't want to be lazy."

And yet another. "I am a sad bear. Ask me why I'm sad, Allison." "Why are you sad?" "I'm sad because you don't want to eat me. I'm just a Teddy Graham, but I could be so much more. I could dive into your stomach, swim through your intestines, and then go out your boo-tay, making my way into the glorious water of eternal freedom, where a hurricane will whisk me away to heaven." And of course Jenny saw to it that the bear was put on the path to eternal bliss.

Just when I thought Jenny was done playing with her food, along came one more. "Look. I am a bleeding bear. And my blood is black--like your heart." Then, if you know how mothers play the whole "airplane" game with spoons to get their kids to open their mouths, the bear was flying toward my face. "Look, Allison! I'm flying. And if you eat me, you'll be able to fly too." I've named this bear Hallucinogenic Bear.

Welcome to our home. We're fucking weird.