Just when I thought

that this night couldn't get any worse, he had to call.

What motivates a man who cheated on his wife with someone eleven years younger than himself to keep pretending he cares when he clearly didn't in the first place?

"It's good to hear your voice. As long as I know you're okay, I'm okay."

Yeah. And I'm a supermodel.

PSA

This is a Public Service Announcement, courtesy Allison the Great:

If you put your slippers by a space heater (or heating vent, for those of you with more effective home heating systems than mine), they will be nice and toasty when you decide to slip your frosty toes inside, thereby instantaneously warming your toes to a most satisfying level of general toastiness.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.