A Quick How-To

Lately, I've been interacting with my ex's a little more than I should. (Ideally, one should never interact with one's ex's.) As such, I've learned a few rules to this interaction. If you are an idiot and must interact with your ex's, there are a few rules you should follow.

1. Remember why you broke up with this person. Chances are, it's no mystery to you why you cut ties with this person and ran away, screaming and flailing your arms like some Star Wars character on acid. Do not think that the circumstances have changed. All of those little things about your ex that irritated you. . . how he chewed his orange juice, how he put creamsavers in the iced tea, how he was married. . . those things are going to be the same. Don't be surprised.
2. Remember what you've said to this person. I don't know if you share this problem, but I have a horrible habit of bitching people out, telling them exactly what I think of them at the moment, and then forgetting that the conversation ever took place. If you, say, yell at a guy and tell him that you knew he was cheating and lying the whole time and that you never want to talk to him again, you should probably remember that conversation, rather than, say, forgetting and calling the guy six weeks later to see if he wants to get a drink.
3. Remember who knows about your ex and all the shit that went down. If you get the urge to call your ex, for whatever reason, you need to pick up your phone and call a friend who can remind you why you're never going to talk to your ex again. When you suffer a memory lapse, you're going to want help. Think of this person as an AA sponsor. He/she will be there to help you in times of temptation. Always thank your sponsor.

Or. . . you could ignore my rules and just avoid your ex's like the plague they are. That's really the best way to go.