Residence Hall Etiquette

Kids, kids. . .

Look, we know you have sex. We know you have sex in your dorm room. No big deal; we can handle it.

What we cannot handle is having to hear it.

When I walk down the hall to my room, I do not want to hear moaning coming your room; I do not want to hear your bed moving; I do not want to hear primal grunting.

And when you're finished, I do not want to see you emerge from your room in a towel, go into the bathroom and shower for approximately thirty seconds, proceed from the bathroom to your bedroom, and stand in your doorway, still dripping wet, to say, "Oh, honey. . ." before shutting the door.

Please, people. I don't care if you need to bump uglies down the hall. Just have some etiquette about it.