Delta

The Greek symbol. Delta. Looks kinda like a triangle. When in mock trial, the symbol means "defense" or "defendant." When in geometry, it means "change." Change in x, change in y, change in whatever.

Ever noticed how children never want to nap because they're afraid they might miss something? Something exciting or troublesome or simply fun. Something's bound to happen without them. The world, for a brief hour or so, will continue without them--and that's troubling to the young child. But shouldn't it be troubling to us all?

I'm home for the first time in almost four months. My little brother can read. He's in kindergarten, reading at the level of a kid who's finished first grade. My sisters are in college, living on their own for the first time. My older brother is dating someone, for the first time that I know of. My other older brother is at home again, having quit his job as a scuba diver. And my mother is seemingly happy--tired, but happy.

Life has changed. And I missed it.

My room is the same as I left it. Well, with the exception of the fact that my embroidered pillowcase has been replaced with an imposter screen-print. And about fifty envelopes containing junkmail and useless bank statements have been added to my bookcase. But things look, for the most part, the same.

Every time I come home, I am reminded that life goes on without me.

And every time I come home, I feel more like the angry child who never wanted to go take a nap in the first place. I missed it. Something happened. And it happened without me.