Robe v. Blanket

I have many odd habits, one of which is writing blog titles in the form of legal case names. Another one of which is that I wear a robe around the building when I'm cold. It reminds me of Hugh Hefner. Lounging around the Playboy Mansion, wearing silk pajamas and a bathrobe. Quite the ridiculous get-up actually.

But anyway, last night I was wearing said bathrobe, watching a movie with my roommate when I thought, "I may be a tad bit warm right now." I remember thinking this because I am never warm. I'm always freezing cold. (Hence, we end up with pictures of "Inuit Allison," bundled up in two shirts, a hoodie, the bathrobe in question, and two throw blankets.)

Thinking that I may actually be warm, I took off the bathrobe. Moments later, when my roommate returned, I had wrapped myself in a blanket. "Did you take off your robe just to grab the blanket?" "I thought I was warm, but then I was cold."

And it was that simple. My actions made no sense because I didn't know what I was doing. I thought I was warm, but then realized that I was cold.

According to William Irvine, I don't know what I want. According to Daniel Gilbert, I don't know what will make me happy. Yet, somehow, according to American individualism and the classical liberal creed, I should be held responsible for all of my actions because people are rational calculators.

Hmm. . . I can't figure out how to regulate my body temperature, but I should be held accountable for the situations in which I find myself each and every day? I can't even figure out whether to change the thermostat, but magically I must be able to make economic and political decisions that are in my best interest. After all, that is what rational calculators do.

Deities bless America. Land of the rational calculators. (On sale at Wal-Mart for $2.99 through Saturday.)