Strange Happenings on Campus

Tonight, Mandy and I were sitting outside having an amusing conversation, as usual, when a most odd thing happened. There we were, discussing the absurdity of telling women to follow their husbands as their husbands follow God, when a stranger walked up.

Him: "Hey."
Me: "Hi. . . (?)"
Him: *Sits on bench three feet away*
Me: *Continues conversation with Mandy*
Him: "Do you think you could help me with my math homework?"
Me: *Notices Algebra textbook in his hand* "Sure."
Him: *Flips through pages* "Okay. This is my first problem. Are you ready?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "3a. A equals 9."
Me: *Look that says "I must've heard that wrong."* "3a when a equals 9?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Okay. You have 3a. If a equals 9, then you put 9 in place of a. What do you get?"
Him: "Are you making fun of me?"
Me: "No. I'm trying to help you without just giving you the answer so that maybe you'll learn how to do this on your own."
Him: "Oh." *Fidgets with pencil before writing down problem.* "So I do what?"
Me: "Put 9 in place of a."
Him: "So it's 27?"
Me: "Yeah."

Then I went back to Mandy to continue our conversation about absurd wedding vows. I want mine to include, "If you abuse me, I will divorce you. Don't ask for unconditional love because I don't believe in that. Being that I currently lack the financial resources to go to Denmark and seek out my ideal partner, you'll do for now." Then I hear,

Him: "Hey. Do you know the distributive property?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "How do I do 3x + 3y?"
Me: "Do they just want you to rephrase it?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "What's the common factor?"
Him: "3?"
Me: "Yes. So how could you rewrite that?"
Him: "x + y?"
Me: "No. What's the common factor?"
Him: "3 times x?"
Me: "No. You already said that 3 was the common factor. So pull that out. What is left?"
Him: *Clearly confused* "x + y?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "So how would I rewrite that?"
Me: "You took 3 out." *Makes parentheses with hands* "What's left?"
Him: "3 then in parentheses x + y?"
Me: "Yes."

Then Mandy and I scurried inside before I was asked about the transitive property.

It was bizarre. I have no idea who that guy was. No idea. Do I have some aire about me that just screams, "Hey! I'm a math tutor!"? Because I was not aware. And frankly, I don't think I like it.

If that guy should be seeking help from anyone, it should be his high school math teachers, who clearly jipped him big time. No one should graduate high school without a basic understanding of algebra. And no one should get into a university without a basic understanding of algebra--yes, even this university.